Some part of me wanted to reclaim my lost self, but I was still afraid of Jason and what he might do. It was as if two people inside of me fought against each other--the one who wanted to be free and the one who was desperately afraid." Having ten children, suffering nerve damage from the cold, and sleeping under a truck along the highway wasn't what Tessy imagined her life would be like when she married Jason. Spanning three decades, this heart-wrenching memoir follows Tessy's struggle to comply with her controlling husband's desire to live like pioneers from a bygone era. As his carefully constructed fantasy continues its downward spiral, she is forced to face her fears and make a life-altering decision. Caution: This book includes scenes of rape, death, and emotional abuse. --Provided by publisher.