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"Internet sensation Grumpy Cat's epic feline frown has inspired legions of devoted fans. Celebrating the grouch in everyone, the Grumpy Cat book teaches the fine art of grumpiness and includes enough bad attitude to cast a dark cloud over the whole world. Featuring brand new as well as classic photos, and including grump-inspiring activities and games, Grumpy Cat delivers unmatched, hilarious grumpiness that puts any bad mood in perspective"--
2) Dad is fat
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"In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children--everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four year olds ("there is no difference...
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The Manual No Real Guy Should Be Without
Motor oil, beer, and charcoal--that's what real men are made of. A real man should be able to swap out the car's spark plugs and change its oil as his freshly caught fish smokes on open flame--all while shotgunning a beer. For how-to instructions on these and other equally manly activities, you need How to Back Up a Trailer. It's the ultimate guide to everything you better know how to do, like rotate your...
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"The Accidental Library Marketer fills a need for library professionals and paraprofessionals who find themselves in an awkward position: They need to promote their libraries and services in the age of the internet, but they've never been taught how to do it effectively. This results-oriented A-to-Z guide by Kathy Dempsey--long-time editor of the Marketing Library Services newsletter--reveals the missing link between the everyday promotion librarians...
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If cats really did have nine lives, none would live all of them as fully as Buffy, an orange tabby from the suburbs of Chicago. In the course of his lifetime, Buffy was a bartender, a judge, a DJ, a teacher, and a dental hygienist. Like many who live and work in a city, he spent his days eating breakfast, commuting on public transit, going grocery shopping, and enjoying a cold beverage at the end of a long day. There were the chores-mowing the lawn,...
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Two European siblings travel to New England to meet their American cousins in this classic satire. Henry James's short novel The Europeans, which made its debut in serial form in the Atlantic Monthly, is the beloved tale of Eugenia Münster and her brother, Felix Young, who travel to Boston after having spent most of their lives in France, Italy, Spain, and Germany. At the heart of the story rest the concerns that most intrigued the iconic author:...
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Written in the style and format of the "New York Times" bestseller "The Official Handbook of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy," this expose is full of fresh reporting, devastating quotes, scandalous stories, funny sidebars, and forgotten but telling incidents from Hillary's past.
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The Gay Man's Guide to Heterosexuality offers a humorous look at the strange and often inexplicable habits of heterosexuals. This book not only tells you everything you need to know about the straight world (and then some), but answers questions that have probably been plaguing you for years, like:
- What are they carrying in all those minivans?
- Why are their dogs so big?
- Why are they afraid of bright colors?
- Why do show tunes scare them?
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11) The Fart Tootorial: Farting Fundamentals, Master Blaster Techniques, and the Complete Toot Taxonomy
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From the authors of The Book of Beer Pong and The Book of Beer Awesomeness, this illuminating and hilarious volume features everything a person could ever wish to know (and more!) about everyone's favorite bodily function. It's loaded with interesting information, from the history of farts to different types of flatulence ("Much like a fingerprint, no two farts sound-or smell-alike"). Also featuring the best fart techniques, defenses, and pranks,...
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If You Could Read My Voice is a compilation of the best pieces from Mark Daniel Curley's nighttime AM radio show, SportstatiC, from the year 1998. This compilation was originally written and printed, in a very limited but unpublished run, in early 1999. The content has been preserved in its original state for this e-book, from Preface to Table of Contents to Main Text to Index. This was Mark Daniel Curley's first crack at professional writing, and...
14) Chirper in Chief
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Chirper in Chief is a political satire about Trump's presidency. The book briefly depicts Trump making his grand entrance on the political scene. Readers are informed about Trump defeating his political opponents thus becoming the frontrunner of the GOP and later President of the United States of America. The book also portrays Trump's controversial campaign ties with Russia and his obsession with tweeting. Readers are also enlightened of his disdain...
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Did you ever look at the clouds in the sky and notice the bumper stickers God has pasted on them to try and get our attention? Bumper Stickers on the Clouds presents some of the signs you may have missed. The essays and humorous stories included within will help you to relax, laugh, and provide some new perspectives on your Christian journey. Bible references and the re-telling of Bible stories and verses assist in furthering the understanding and...
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There are three main plots in "Billy Graham in Heaven." Each has its own character developments and its own sci-fi innovations that are scientifically predictable, yet magically enchanting. All intertwine seamlessly to provide a rollicking and profound read. The plot advertised by the title involves a respectfully presented, Heaven-dwelling Billy Graham. Turns out that Heaven's souls mostly just hang out, being conscious or not if they wished, or...
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Dogs don't eat as much kids, don't ask for money, are easier to train, and usually come when you call them. They don't need a fortune for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their offspring. If you are lonely or lack self-esteem, get a dog. Dogs are always pleased to see you, want to be by your side, and stare at you for no reason. That's love. They're loyal, friendly, forgiving, and make you laugh. They protect your family and your property,...
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When I was preparing my first book for publication, I kept reading and hearing from the "experts" that every author ought to have a blog. I was a bit queasy about diving into such an undertaking. My unease was caused by my constant desire to be somewhat consistent (if not first-rate). I didn't want to be one of those guys and gals who only blogged every few weeks when the spirit moved them.
After much prayer and consternation, I opted to follow the...
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Everyone who knows cats think they're so special.
But how can they explain why to mere humans?
Where do cats get their sense of superiority? How do they manipulate us so easily? “Cat-echisms” answers these eternal feline questions in an easy question-and-answer form. The result? A privileged peek inside the feline brain. In the process, cat owners-and even those who admire cats from afar-are entertained as well as enlightened. Fully illustrated...
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Have you ever wondered about the dogs and cats in Bible days? Have you ever wondered if Bible stories could have been funny and sometimes sarcastic? Have you ever wondered how cats made it through the flood or why the whale yakked Jonah up on a beach after three days? In Bible Dog's delightful cartoon version of familiar stories, we are invited to consider the strange and wonderful events of ancient Bible times with humor, a dog's imagination, and...
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